I Never Said Forever
by Aubreys-Master
Summary: My obligatory doom-sappy RinxHaru fic. Songfic, more info inside on that. Summary: When Haru puts up a valiant (and failed) attempt to protect Yuki from Akito, he ends up dying. Rin reflects on a summer she and Haru had, while at his funeral.


Disclaimer: I don't own it.

Author's Crap: Inspired by Eva Cassidy's Fields of Gold. HaruxRin, HaruxYuki.

Author's Notes: This is my first time writing Miss Isuzu, so pardon any OOC behavior that might occur, she hasn't actually shown up in the manga, yet. Slightly AU...I dunno, enjoy. Slash, het, incest, something for everyone.

I Never Said Forever

_:You'll remember me when the west wind blows_

_Among the fields of barley_

_You can tell the sun in his jealous sky_

_When we walk in fields of gold:_

They hadn't been that old, when they'd found the place. He'd been eleven, at most. It had actually been an accident; they'd just stumbled upon it. He'd been lost, and she'd been trying to find their way back, when they'd happened to find a large barley field. For the first year or so, they'd just played in it. Tag, hide and seek, stuff like that. But, after a particularly long hospital trip, he'd brought her back there. She'd been weak, and shaking, but he'd held her on her feet, and taken her deep into the tall barley stalks, waist high in golden grasses. When they'd reached the very center, at last, he'd gently urged her down to the ground, sitting next to her. They'd sat there for several hours, before he bothered to speak to her at all. By that point, she'd been wondering why he'd brought her there to begin with.

"I love you." He stated in that calm, quiet tone of his. She'd glanced at him in shock, her dark eyes wide with alarm.

"What...?" She'd asked slowly, wanting confirmation that she'd heard properly.

"I love you." He repeated, tugging her against his chest, running his fingers through her long, black hair. Her expression softened, very slightly; not much, though. Not outside her eyes, anyway. "I mean it, Rin. I really do." He'd paused, letting his nose rest into the top of her head, breathing in the smell of her shampoo and natural scent. "Do you love me to?" He prompted her, finally, when she didn't say anything.

"Haru..." She frowned at him again, but didn't really answer. She didn't want to make a promise to him that she couldn't keep. And, she didn't want to love him, regardless of whether she actually did, or not. "Haru...don't ask that." She murmured finally, despite the fact that she didn't pull away from him. "It's rude to be pushy."

"Rin" He'd started, but she cut him off.

"I'll let you know when you need to." She interjected shortly. "And not twenty seconds before."

He still didn't seem satisfied with her reply, but he didn't push her further and, he did find out, several years later. He found out thanks to Akito.

He'd hurt her...he'd hurt her horribly. He almost killed her; she'd be in the hospital for a long time, afterward. She wouldn't tell him what he wanted to hear, though, when she did in fact answer the question he'd asked on that warm day in that golden field.

She told him 'no'.

He'd been able to hide the hurt at such cruel words, at the time, but he'd been almost constantly Black for quite a few days because of it. Still, he tried to move on and, he did. Yuki had finally started to get over all that Akito had done to himthough; Hatsuharu never would know just what had spurred such a quick psychological recovery. So, he'd gone back to the comfort of his first love, and had been with him for more years.

Until, somehow, Akito had found out.

That had been bad.

He'd tired to protect Yuki...he didn't care what bodily harm he managed to get inflicted on himself...he wouldn't let what had happened with her happen again.

He didn't know how much harm would befall him, though.

He'd heard someone say that mortal wounds inflicted no pain upon the receiver. If he ever met up with that person, in the afterlife, he'd have to admonish them for lying.

That didn't matter, though. What mattered was that he'd succeeded in keeping Yuki from suffering the same fate he did. That was why he smiled, when he half heard Hatori say that nothing could be done, before he closed his eyes one last time. (He wasn't sure how he'd gotten to Hatori's house; he decided he must have blacked out, at some point.)

He'd whispered 'I love you', to Yuki before he died, and a few days later, the funeral was held.

She couldn't believe what that stupid ox had managed to do, as she stepped up to the casket. It was open; Yuki had informed Hatori and Kureno that Haru would have wanted it. He'd said that Haru wouldn't have been ashamed of the way he had died, and wouldn't want anyone else to be either. She was, though. She was ashamed, because she knew that things might have been differentand he might have still been aliveif she hadn't lied to him, and broken it off.

Maybe even if she'd just answered to begin with.

"Isuzu?" She'd been leaning heavily on Haru's coffin, but looked up and over her shoulder, when she felt someone lay a hand on her shoulder, and heard them speak. "Are you alright?" Kagura wondered, craning her neck to look over her cousin's head, to see a pale, still bruised face, framed by a mop of white and black hair.

"I didn't lie to him, Kagura." Rin informed her right off the bat. "I never said it would be foreverI didn't lie!"

"I...didn't say you did..." The boar informed her, blinking and feeling a bit helpless. Isuzu was hysterical, and everyone else in the room knew it too. After a few more minutes of this, Hatori and Shigure moved forward to take her out of the room, and try to calm her down. The last thing they heard from her, before two thirds of the Mabudachi Trio took her out of the building, were,

"I never said anything...I never said forever...I never said I loved him..." She knew she'd been deluding herself for a long time about that, but she didn't honestly care, at this point. The point was...was there a point? She didn't even know...No one else did, either. Kagura and Yuki both turned to watch her be dragged out, but neither of them did anything to stop her. If Haru had been there, he'd probably have gone after her, but he wasn't.

She was still convinced, years later that he wasn't there to go after her that day because she hadn't answered a question he'd asked her when he was twelve years old.

No one really believed her, though. They didn't think such a simple motion could have made such a large difference.

She didn't really care if they believed her or not. She knew she was right...or, at least, she thought she was.

_:Many years have passed_

_Since those summer days_

_Among the fields of barley_

_See the children run as the sun goes down_

_As you lie in fields of gold:_

It wasn't Yuki who suggested Haru be buried outside of the family cemetery and, it certainly wasn't Yuki who went to appeal to Akito over the matter. Rin did that. She was the one who made sure that Haru be put to his eternal slumber in those barley fields that they'd discovered together so long ago. She thought he'd like that more, than on some chilly hilltop with the rest of his dead relatives. In the very center of the field, a small cross was erected right above where the head of his coffin was lowered. There wasn't any inscription on it, not even his name. She'd done that, too.

As soon as the burial was over, most of the Juunishi left. Rin stayed, though, and Kagura waited for her, too.

"I lied, Haru." Rin informed the upturned earth, softly, not wanting Kagura to hear her speaking. "I...I lied...I did love you...I promise..."

It was early June, and the air was warm and ironically welcoming, as a slight wind stirred it, tossing her hair about the tiniest bit.

"I love you..." She repeated, before turning to leave with Kagura. She'd go see him alone some time...That was another promise she made that day.

_:You'll remember me when the west wind blows_

_Among the fields of barley_

_You can tell the sun in his jealous sky_

_When we walk in fields of gold_

_When we walk in fields of gold:_


End file.
